I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize