its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
so much tequila, so little girl.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
