my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
