Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
