Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
