wanna go halves on a baby?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
