Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize