How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
