Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
