I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
