Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
