Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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