Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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