I think I am morally bankrupt
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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