my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
