another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize