to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize