I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
