the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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