normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
