do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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