think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
