so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
