Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
