We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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