My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
