what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
