This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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