why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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