dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
