I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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