why didn't you poke me back
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The air taste purple.
Randomize
