the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
