Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
