playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
