Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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