Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
