HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
40s are totally the cure
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
