we have pet lesbian snakes
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize