so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
