god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
no. you can't hotbox the world.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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