Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
