My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
