elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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