false alarm. still invincible.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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