We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize