Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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