I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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