I'm pants shitting drunk right now
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
