How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
