escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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