I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
