God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
