he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
