hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
