We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize