Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She announced her abortion via fbk
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
