Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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