i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
