so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
