my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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