For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
