i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
