Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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