I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
my poor anus
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
