do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
