On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
